Here's the story...

Hi everyone, as you must know by now my wonderful husband Ray and I are expecting our first child. I decided to do this whole blog thing after my cousin Dawn gave me the idea. It is def a great way to not only share our story and pictures with our friends and family but also a great way for us to journal our thoughts and document the pregnancy. Dawn is also pregnant and that kid is going to have two very cool and loving parents. You can view her blog here at http://baby1block.blogspot.com/

I guess the first thought that comes to my head as I think back to when we first found out we were pregnant is " wow, that was fast!" Ray and I feel very blessed that it happen very quickly and easily for us. Yes, honey your boys can swim. We only got married at the end of June and had previously decided that we wanted to get pregnant within the first year. We thought it might take that whole first year of trying but we were wrong. Surprisingly, we weren't even really trying. I thought it would take at least a few months just to get my cycle normalized again since going off of birth control in August. Well, by September we had our little "peanut" as Daddy likes to call it. I guess that someone upstairs knew that it was meant to happen like that for us.

When I missed the start of my period on Friday October 5th I didn't think much of it. I told Ray and he didn't think it was a big deal either. As I said, I just assumed that it was because I had lost my normal schedule. By Saturday afternoon I was a giant ball of anxiety, I know it seems weird but I actually "felt" pregnant that day. So I went to the drugstore, bought the home pregnancy test and took it as soon as I got home. I was by myself in our upstairs bathroom while Ray was downstairs oblivious to what I was dong. He thought that his wife had just ran out to pick up the dry cleaning. Well let me tell you, that second line appeared so very fast I couldn't catch my breath. I read the directions at least 8 more times to make sure that I did it right, I had. I was shaking but didn't know how to react. I was happy of course, and surprised and nervous and now had all of these thoughts racing around in my head about how I was going to tell Ray. Should I wait until a confirmed blood test? should I run out and buy a baby Red Sox outfit to give to him? In the end, I hollered downstairs for him to come up and handed him the shaking stick. As most expecting fathers would say he replied with "how do I read this?" Ugh! So I had to explain that the "key" was on the stick right there for him to figure out. After what seemed like an eternity he finally figured it out. His big smile was permanently burned into my memory.

We decided almost immediately that we weren't going to tell anyone until much further along. the timing was perfect as both of our Mom's would be together with us at Thanksgiving-we planned on telling them then. Keeping this news from my parents is so far the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I know my Mom will cry when we tell her, Ray's mom will cry too. Our child would be the first grandchild for each of them. The funny thing is that we've been leading on that we didn't want children right away so that element will add to their surprise.

I wouldn't quite let myself believe it until I had a blood test but I was def feeling it. Almost immediately I was feeling the effects. I was almost always nauseated, my daily and nightly bathroom trips seemed to quadruple and my stomach became extremely tender to the touch. when I didn't hurt in my belly or feel sick to my stomach I was worried, so I actually welcomed the pain! Obviously I was very early along so I wasn't showing but I was feeling. It hurt so much to even wear a seat belt that I was nervous that something was actually wrong. I spent the first week glued to the Internet at night, scanning for stories and posts from other pregnant women to see if my symptoms were normal. It was hard since I couldn't call anyone personally that I knew to ask them about what I was going though since I didn't want to ruin the surprise. i was and still am scared of a miscarriage as I am not out of the woods yet.

I took one more home pregnancy test the following Tuesday before I called my doctor. Sure enough, two lines. Thursday I went in for a blood test and on Friday October 12th it was official. Our due date would be June 13th. I found out when I was at work on Friday. Since I work on a trading desk with absolutely no privacy, as does Ray, I decided against calling him to give him the news. So I did what any 21st century person would do to convey life changing news-I shot him an email. His response was prompt and blunt. "My boys can swim!!"

We had Gina and Don's wedding that night and Ray's whole family would be in attendance. I didn't feel good at all but knew I couldn't miss it. It was a beautiful wedding and I regret not being able to enjoy it as much as I could have. I wasn't sure how I was going to pull off the no-drinking thing either. I drank tonic waters all night and I guess people assumed that it was a vodka tonic or something. I also tried to make a couple appearances on the dance floor even though I remember cramping so bad that day that it hurt to dance, but I was determined to act as normal as possible and everyone knows that I love to have fun at weddings. I think that the adrenalin kept me going that night as physically I was a wreck but mentally I was on top of the world.

By the following week I guessed that I was about 5 or so weeks pregnant and still had all of the same symptoms. I finally gave in and told my supervisor about the pregnancy. I didn't want him to wonder why I kept leaving the desk or why I was tired all of the time, especially with annual reviews coming up! His response when I told him? A high five. That's different. Ray also told his supervisor in case he needed to tend to me at all. I also had to end up telling my chiropractor and dental hygienist as I had appointments with them that week and needed to let them know it case it would affect my treatment. So I was kinda getting frustrated that we did have to end up telling some people but as long as we kept it from our family and friends that was the important part.

My belly was growing slightly, but not enough for anyone to notice. But it wasn't my belly growth that I was concerned about-it was my breasts! They aren't very big to begin with but they started popping out like they were suddenly awakened after 10 years of hibernation. I had no idea that it would happen this early. Ray was banished from coming anywhere near them and I had to alter my snuggling position with Lily(our dog) because they hurt so much. Not to mention they were really heavy and I felt as if I was dragging them out of bed with me every morning.

While we thought it was too early to get into full blown planning mode,Ray and I started discussing the space in our house and what we were going to do about the lack of it. We have a lovely cape style house that we love but it's only 2 bedrooms. One bedroom for us, one for baby and none for my mom when she moves in! I know that she'll want to spend lots of time here with us once the baby is born. Fortunately we have the option of expanding to build another bedroom, whether or not we have the money to do that is a different story.

During my 6th week I had a minor scare. I had started spotting and it seemed to be getting heavier everyday. My first doctor's appointment wasn't scheduled until mid November, as they didn't feel the need to see me until I was 10 weeks along. I talked to one of the nurses who assured me that it was perfectly normal to spot early on and not to worry unless the bleeding was very heavy. Worry I do, so I called again after another day and she offered that I could come in and get an ultrasound so I could see the baby and heartbeat for piece of mind. Since I was still early, they needed me to get a blood test to check my HCG levels to make sure that I was "pregnant enough" for the ultrasound to work. My levels were nice and high and they let me come in and get the ultrasound yesterday. Ray came with me and I was a nervous wreck on the way there. Deep down I knew that everything was still fine and that I was being paranoid, but I didn't want to consume myself with doubt and worry until my first appointment in a few weeks. So yesterday we saw our baby for the first time. I t didn't look like much, just a light spot in the middle of my dark uterus. The spot was flickering, it was the heartbeat. The baby has a very healthy heartbeat of 140 bpm and in a few weeks we should be able to hear it. Ray told me after we left that he couldn't see the flickering and I yelled at him that he should've spoken up so she could've pointed it out to him! I still continue to have the spotting but I feel much better about it since I know the baby is okay.

As I write this, I want to mention that we are not going to find out the gender of the baby before it is born. I think it will be a nice surprise and something for us to look forward to throughout the pregnancy. Before I was pregnant , I always said that I wanted a girl first, but now I just want a healthy baby. I know it's a cliche but if he or she (and me) could all get through this in good health, that's all that matters. I think that Daddy secretly hopes that his little peanut turns out to be a girl. He likes calling Lily and I "his girls" and a baby girl would fit right into his perfect world of surrounding himself with women that he loves taking care of. But then some days I think he wants a boy more. Partly because he is eager to share his passion of baseball with the little guy and partly because he gets to have something that is missing in his life, a bond between a father and a son.

Today I am about 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant and am completely thrilled to pieces. Since I'm not planning on posting this until after Thanksgiving, by the time you are reading this I will probably be showing more and will post some pictures. I plan to update this blog until the baby arrives so please stay posted! More to come...